Theres an appropriate time for when you can throw a cat out of a window. A midtown veterinarian would tell you that out of 300 cats rushed into their clinic after a midday base jump, only 20 were seriously injured, and none had the unfortunate experience of losing one of their nine lives. This is due to the curious phenomenon that outside a certain range, specifically between the fifth and ninth floors, cats are impervious to the effects of gravity. If they begin their downward journey below the fifth floor, a cat doesn’t reach a fast enough speed for them to not bounce off the sidewalk and walk away, making sure you know that it was all intentional and part of their daily routine. If instead a cat begins their hero’s journey above the ninth floor of their castle, they have all the time to adjust their body and relax their leg muscles to absorb the full force of terminal velocity, and bounce off the sidewalk and walk away, making sure you know it was all intentional and part of their daily routine. It’s only between those fifth and ninth floors, where a cat has a brief moment of potential mortality. And even then, I’d like to think they take that brief moment to think, “Hey, let’s make sure those foodbringers know that at the end if the day, I’m in charge, and at any moment, I can show them what real excitement looks like.”
When it’s appropriate to throw a cat out of a window
